hiding in honesty

how long must i pray, must i pray to you?
how long must i wait, must i wait for you?
how long til i see your face, see you shining through?
i'm on my knees, begging you to notice me.
i'm on my knees, father will you turn to me?

one tear in the driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain
could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart?
one light, that's all i am. right now i can barely stand.
if you're everything you say you are.
won't you come close and hold my heart. ♥

---tenth avenue north.

stand up. speak up.

"Seeking justice and
respecting the image of God
in everyone requires
knowing when to speak up &
when to gracefully stay silent."
-Julie Clawson, Everyday Justice

a revolutionary idea.
because we are not only called to love
those who are in need of justice
somewhere far, far away
in a distance third-world nation.
we are also called to love even those around us:
the privileged, the comfortable, the ones who have.

What makes us think that
God will send us to love the people
in dire situations of Cambodia,
when we can't even love the people
in stressful situations around us?

"you will experience greater things than these."

walking on water is my task.
trusting in Jesus is my purpose.
the winds of my failures
and the waves of my imperfection
are my distractions.
this world storms around me.
but Jesus always remains constant.
He says, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
and holds out His hands
to catch us when we think we're sinking.
He says, "You of little faith,
Why did you doubt?"
because with Jesus, we can walk on water.
and if
walking on water is my task.
and trusting in Jesus is my purpose
then even the winds of my failures
and the waves of my imperfections
cannot distract me.
and though this world storms around me.
one thing remains constant ---
i can always walk on water,
in Jesus' name.

Amen.

my first language

감사해요
깨닿지 못했었는데
내가 얼마나 소중한 존재라는것.
태초부터 지금까지 하나님의 사랑은
항상 날 향하고 있었다는것.
고마워요
그 사랑을 가르쳐준 당신께.
주께서 허락하신 당신께.
그리스도의 사랑으로 더욱 섬기며
이제 나도 세상에 전하리라.

당신은 사랑받기위해
그리고 그 사랑 전하기위해.
주께서 택하시고 이땅에 심으셨내
또하나의 열매를 바라시며.

God

if you're going to make something of me
can you do it soon, please?


because i dont know how much more of this
i can stand.

Dude,

I'm not that girl anymore.!

I had a dream about my ex last night.
And it wasn't a good feeling
to feel like I was back to where I had moved so far from.
But! I am proud to say
that even in my dream,
I made it VERY clear
that I'm not that girl I was before.
I am a new creation.
With a new, divine purpose.
I am new - inside and out.
And I know that I don't need to worry
about being THAT girl again. :)

burn.and.turn.?.

so i realized...
that i have a way of burning my relationships sometimes.
especially with guy-friends.
er should i say ex-guy-friends.

and i dont know how to reconcile with that.
cuz honestly...
these guys take up so much of my time.
and that's the reason why i found them annoying in the first place
and decided to ignore them.
because i would rather do that
than have the burden of having to be their "best friend"
and listen to every problem that they have.
and try to come up with ways to get past
walls they have built up themselves,
against other people,
and argue with them for hours on end
about how our viewpoints differ...
cuz these are the kinds of guys who keep trying to consult me--
guys i don't necessarily click with.
but.... lately...
hearing messages like:
the gospel is for everyone,
love your enemies,
humility = sacrificing my rights so that others can get theirs....
im sensing like.
something needs to change.
all those bridges that ive burned
need to be built up again.

but what do you do
when you don't even WANT to be friends again?
okay, i know the answer to that.
you can't always love people you LIKE.
but i mean...
is there ever a limit to sacrifice??
if being their friend means staying up late talking their issues out
and possibly failing a class....
are you supposed to sacrifice those grades??

please let me know,
dahil hindi ko alam!