blast from the past

i realized that.
sometimes i try to erase people
from my past.
as if clicking that 'delete' button on facebook
will forever and ever delete them from my mind
and erase those memories hidden away in the back of my brain.

and then i freak out
when God sometimes brings these people
BACK into my life.
and forces me to confront them,
and ask all the tough, awkward questions
and forces me to CARE
and to LOVE.
and to learn to LOVE.
and he asks me,
"why are you trying to force them out
when i'm not done with you and ______, yet?
don't you trust that
i'm bigger than your ideas, conceptions, memories,
mistakes, hurts, miscommunications?"

oh, God, won't you bring restoration
to my past. thanks.

i love

watching MOBILIZATION happen.
seeing people and things come together.
simply because i took a few steps of obedience,
sacrificing and possibly risking my time and efforts.

But God is so good, because He doesn't meet me halfway.
He meets me FULLway.

Jesus, you DO answer prayers,
and it's so LOVELY to see that!

alleluiah!
alleluiah!
alleluiiahh!
your love makes me sing. (:

i think that

i want to be an initiator of change.