maraming salamat po!

here are a few requests of prayer
for my philippines trip, which i will be gone to
july 1-11...

-UNITY of our team in LOVE
the kind that covers over a multitude of sins
(1 Peter 4:8)
and that we may be patient with everyone,
especially one another
(1 Thessalonians 5:14)

-STRENGTH found in God alone
the kind that renews us
and lets us soar on wings like eagles
and run and not grow weary
and walk and not be faint
(Isaiah 40: 29-31)

-PROTECTION from satan
heavenly authority given us
to trample on snakes and scorpions
and to overcome all the power of the enemy,
letting nothing harm us
(Luke 10:19)

-God's GLORY to be shown through us
that we may shine before men
and they will see our good deeds
and praise our Father in heaven
(Matthew 5:16)

-that we would only and ALWAYS
rely on God alone as our source.
(Psalm 73:26)
that we would be faithful to what God's called us to
but also at the same time know that it is God doing the work,
not us. (Psalm 46:10, Philippians 1:6)

pagpalain kayo ng Diyos!
maraming salamat po. ♥

praying for my philippines trip.

and maybe the rest of my life.

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like you have loved me
break my heart for what breaks yours
everything i am for your kingdom's cause...

Jesus.
Help me to HEAR You
& then to be strong
confident
bold
enough to obey.
Be in me the wisdom to discern
and the strength
to move on if You say so,
to hang on if You say so,
to let go if You say so,
and even to sit still and wait
if that is what You ask of me.

Jesus.
Will You make me simple-minded?
so that i may not discriminate
or see the divisions and barriers
that keep me from loving certain people
or certain groups of people?
Will You make my mind single-mindedly,
WHOLLY, totally, and completely
for You?
Please give me an undivided ♥ for You.
And also my sight?
May i not see judgments
but merely Your beloved, beautiful people
who You LOVE with all Your heart
and will always love
regardless of what they say or do.
May i not see myself
but simply a channel of Your LOVE
who is to pour out into others,
Regardless of the consequences.

Above all, help me to love deeply
with the kind of love
that covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
with Your kind of love that never fails (1 Corinthians 13)
and not to us, but to your name be the glory (Psalm 115:1)
forever and ever and ever.

in the beautiful, lovely lovely name of Jesus,
Amen.

head knowledge to heart knowledge

so many times, i have so many theories.
but i refuse to believe them enough
to make them relevant in my life.

but thank GOD!
that he knows.
and he breaks through
every time
with a divine intervention
that makes my knowledge flee
from my head to my heart.

one GREAT lesson of today:
tis certainly true...
because we can't accept ourselves
exactly as we are.
and we want to be like the other person,
out of brokenness of self,
we end up hurting each other.
and cause the breaking down of another.
over and over again.
by refusing to accept the other person the way she is.

i've realized this for a while in my head.
but i know it in my heart, today.

probably the greatest cure is LOVE.
the kind of love that has no bounds
and is overflowingly eternally from our lover Jesus.
the kind of love that covers over all sin.

but why is it so hard for me to humble myself.
and accept this LOVE
and share this LOVE
by accepting my sister the way she is?
and accepting that i will never be like her.
but that is completely Okay.
because we are who God's made us to be.
each different people.
with different skills, talents, passions.
different habits, different priorities.
and why can't we just let our differences go.
and just LOVE each other. freely.
in the freedom that only Jesus love can bring?
no more criticism, envy, jealousy, discord...
no more fights, tears, and harsh words
about not being like the other...
i can do this with everyone
EXCEPT the person i've grown up with for almost 20 years.
the person i am supposed to love MORE
than my other friends.
the person who shares the most genes with me.
the person who supposedly knows me best.
and whom i know the best...

i pray for a miracle to come true this night.

you make all things new

this PROMISE is embedded into every morning.
this is my why morning time is my favorite. ♥

--my response to psalm 37
and seeing the gorgeeeous
partly cloudy daegu sunrise
at 6:30 in the morn.

so high school.

as i prepare to face
possibly the hardest day of my summer,
tomorrow...
i can't help but feel.
so.
nervous.

okay, so maybe i am being a drama queen--
no surprise there.
but seriously.
i just don't understand why..
people at my high school
make me feel so
insignificant
NOT worthwhile
uncool
little.
simply because i don't live the same kind of
lifestyle that they do...
or value the same things they do...
and though i claim i don't care what they think.
it does affect me a lot.
i shrink in their presence.
i'm ashamed.
i change the way i talk to accommodate them.
and hide who i truly am,
showing only what i think is acceptable in their eyes.
but why must i do this?
why can't i just be myself
and be proud of who God's made me to be.
bold and confident
and strong
in knowing that having God's acceptance
is SO much more than enough.
even if i don't have theirs.

if i want make a radical difference in this world
won't there be many people who are always against me?
won't i sometimes be required to stand "alone"?
why is it so hard for me
to LOVE God and fear Him
more than the opinions of this world?

but that wasn't the end of the story...

this is a sequel post to my previous post titled,
"i hate shopping"
i didn't plan on it being a prequel
but God said otherwise...
so here is the rest of the story.

i've started running again.
i started with 3 miles.
and then 4.
now i run 5 miles on a...
semi-regular basis.
this is nothing short of a miracle
because my attitude towards exercise
has been one of disgust
ever since i started college.

my parents always insisted that regular exercise
is VITAL. even if my first priority is studies.
i've slowly learned this my own way.
since my last post,
a series of very fortunate events
has unfolded
to make me change my mind.
and see things with a new attitude.

1. i remembered a sermon my cousin gave (hes a youth pastor)
about spiritual disciplines.
he included daily exercise as one.
his argument:
if you're not willing to invest in your physical health
and go out and exercise regularly,
you're probably not going to be opening up the Bible
and investing time reading and studying it.
while this logic is not completely accurate,
i got the gist of what he was saying.
and i found that to be true in my life.

2. i needed to know God's theology about exercise.
so i did my own Bible study.
on laziness. and body.
and i kept seeing over and over again
the themes of
a) laziness = foolish
and b) i should be taking care of my body
because tis the place Jesus resides in me.

3. i ran into my high school
softball coach//basketball coach//cisco teacher//lifelong mentor
maybe.. a week ago... or so.
i might mention that
he's one of the few teachers i've known since middle school
and one of the even fewer Christ-centered teachers of daegu.
we went to the same church for yearrrrrs.
he's such an awesome person,
he's always looked after my sister and me
since.. forever. and i really value his advice.
we talked for like 30 minutes in the PX.
and at one point he asked me if i did any sports.
and, in order not to be rebuked, i said i did im softball.
and he said,
"oh yeah? that's good. it's always mind, body, soul.
you know at a place like your school,
all they emphasize is mind, mind, mind.
but you need that balance: mind, body, and soul."
it was such a 7th-grade health class lesson.
but when he said it,
it was an epiphany for me.
maybe that's why i struggled so much the past year.
because i hadn't invested in my body...

4. the guest room, aka my room, in my parents house
has a dresser full of my sister and my clothes,
leftovers of what we couldn't take with us to college.
i was sitting on the bed one day
when i looked on top of that dresser
and saw all the trophies.
and the three big plaques on it were mine.
and all three of them were for my hs achievements
in none other than cross country.
MVP, Scholar-Athelete, All-Conference
for TWO years, each.
my collection of bling in my 5 years of varsity running...
i don't mean to brag,
but dude, i was FAST.
one of the top 15 girl runners in all of Korea for 2 years.
AND valedictorian of my school.
no wonder the other girls hated me.
and it was when i looked back on that time
that i realized that God had done something
IMPOSSIBLE in my life.
how crazy is it that i enjoyed RUNNING,
of all things, and had excelled in it.
the thing that so many other people detest.
i learned so many lessons through it
and it was so much a part of who i am
that i even wrote my college admissions essay about it.
and even though during hs,
running replaced Jesus in my life,
running gave me a goal, a great work ethic,
and kept me sane and super positive.

and through my recent runs,
i realized it's still a passion that i have.
i LOVE racing.
and i LOVE training.
timing myself,
pushing myself to the limit,
seeing myself become faster and faster...
and when i run, i don't think of how hard it is
and how tired i am.
i think of life. i pray. i enjoyyy it.
that's my time of relaxing
and receiving from God.
i just think maybe this excitement
and desire to run is God-given.
and maybe God still wants to do something with that.

so with an open mind and open heart,
i've started training.
not because i want to lose weight.
for a triathlon, i say.
but for what?
i actually don't know.
maybe i'm training to run the race of life...