head knowledge to heart knowledge

so many times, i have so many theories.
but i refuse to believe them enough
to make them relevant in my life.

but thank GOD!
that he knows.
and he breaks through
every time
with a divine intervention
that makes my knowledge flee
from my head to my heart.

one GREAT lesson of today:
tis certainly true...
because we can't accept ourselves
exactly as we are.
and we want to be like the other person,
out of brokenness of self,
we end up hurting each other.
and cause the breaking down of another.
over and over again.
by refusing to accept the other person the way she is.

i've realized this for a while in my head.
but i know it in my heart, today.

probably the greatest cure is LOVE.
the kind of love that has no bounds
and is overflowingly eternally from our lover Jesus.
the kind of love that covers over all sin.

but why is it so hard for me to humble myself.
and accept this LOVE
and share this LOVE
by accepting my sister the way she is?
and accepting that i will never be like her.
but that is completely Okay.
because we are who God's made us to be.
each different people.
with different skills, talents, passions.
different habits, different priorities.
and why can't we just let our differences go.
and just LOVE each other. freely.
in the freedom that only Jesus love can bring?
no more criticism, envy, jealousy, discord...
no more fights, tears, and harsh words
about not being like the other...
i can do this with everyone
EXCEPT the person i've grown up with for almost 20 years.
the person i am supposed to love MORE
than my other friends.
the person who shares the most genes with me.
the person who supposedly knows me best.
and whom i know the best...

i pray for a miracle to come true this night.