hunger

the only thing worse than hunger pains is
the pain of fullness on your stomach
and the heavyness of the weight
gained as a result of a society built on
food, food, and more produced abundance
off which i live.
because the burden of hunger is light.
but the burden of fullness is nothing but HEAVY.
because this food brings me guilt.
this food of HAVING while others DONT.
i despise any semblance of first-world culture
that i own
and wear
and partake in
down to my chubby body and the korean glasses on my nose.
because while others are dying
i sit here and complain
that i'm not skinny enough
that i have to wear glasses.
i complain of my overabundance.
and that is very disturbing
and very distracting to me.
distracting to my goal,
purpose,
task.
maybe i am radical.
but
i would rather have nothing
and live in love.
rather than have much
and live in hate.

but for the time being.
i am here.
i have much.
i am FULL.
and i should equip myself.
to be even more FULL.
not in the physical sense.
but in a spiritual
and mental sense.
so that when i do ever end up empty.
in an empty desert with no resources.
i can tap into the deepest parts of my fullness
and let that come flowing out
filling me
and overflowing to others around me.

may i be as full as a plump and greedy old 부자,
but eat with the hunger of a 거지.
partaking in the most delicious of fruits of wisdom,
thus becoming equipped to produce seeds of my own
so that i may teach the least of those to grow trees
from my seeds
and indulge in the fruits of their abundance
through me.
MEANWHILE, may all of my glory go to God
the creator and orchestrator of all things.
who's the one who made me the plump, greedy old 부자 to begin with...