RAiN[d]

so this morning.
i had class at 8 am.
when i left my room,
it wasn't raining.
it just looked partly cloudy,
with no chance of rain.
for circumstances that were unique to today
i stayed on campus from 8 am to 3 pm.
and by the time it got around to 1:15 pm,
it was raining pretty well.

so my trek up to wurster from dwinelle
at 2 pm, was slightly damp,
to say the least.
and the whole time i was thinking,
"just one more hour, just one more hour.
one more hour of being wet
and i can go home."
so class was bearable.
even in soaked jeans and rainbows.

i guess i had subconsciously assumed
that by the time the hour was over,
rain would have dwindled down...
but that was the opposite of what happened.
and so i had to,
once again,
adventure down through the rain to my dorm.

basically,
i walked through the rain today
with my umbrella and rainboots
IN MY CLOSET.
in a jacket with no hood
and rainbow flipflops.
perfect reason to complain.
and don't you worry, i did plenty of that--
in my head.
i actually i complained enough for 5 people--
in my mind.
so my whole walk back,
i was just thinking about what i would post
for the public to see so they would feel pity
that i had all the equipment to survive a storm
yet because i had a long day of classes,
i was not able to use any of it,
and i had to walk back in cold and wetness.
at the same time,
i was thinking how ridiculously slowwwww
this girl in front of me in rainbow dotted rainboots were walking
and how if i was her, i would walk faster
and be more considerate of those who were wet.

AND right in that moment
as these thoughts were running through my mind
faster than i was walking,
my feet sunk down into my 100th puddle of the day,
soaking thoroughly, my flipflops and jeans.

anddddddddddd
it wasn't anger that i felt,
but rather suchh FREEDOM.
i remembered how much i had missed walking through puddles
without rainboots
and without an umbrella
where my feet could feel the wetness
but it didn't matter anyway
because rain was meant to be wet
and i liked feeling it.
and it was OKAY.
how ironic, yea?
that i had fought so hard to be dry
and by doing so,
i had missed out on what was GOOD
about rainy days.

reflecting on that...
i couldn't help but think i had grown up
too much for my own good.
i mean.
there's no doubt.
rainboots and umbrellas are GOOD things.
especially on days when its flooding like noah's time
and winding like the typhoons.
but i became so caught in the comforts
and confines of the dry and busy world
that i forgot to stop sometimes.
i forgot to skip and play hopskotch.
i forgot to dance in the rain.
i forgot what it is to enjoy
whatever is being handed to me at the present.
instead, i was stuck in this tunnel-vision world
and if things didn't go the way i wanted it to,
then i would get upset and fretful and stressed.
and for what?
...

i don't think life was meant to be lived this way.
so although at first, it was more out of bitterness that i wanted to say this,
now it is out of a genuine grateful heart, that i say,
"thanks, God, for bringing me through rains
with my rainboots and umbrella
in my room."
i get it. :)